“Sneaky Bullies”

Recent events have made me ponder, “What makes a person feel bullied?” The first word that comes to mind is, “threat.” You feel threatened and helpless. You can put that word in a neat little box and say that it has everything to do with fear of physical danger. But today, I opened my mind in an effort to understand other reasons a person would feel bullied.

As adults there are many occasions where we encounter, “sneaky bullies.” These bullies walk among us every day and they know that they can usually get away with their behavior. They are artfully disguised by the fact that they do not threaten physical harm. The bully makes you feel that if you defend yourself, you will suffer a painful loss. It can be different than a financial or physical loss. A bully can put you in a place where your self esteem is at risk. They often try to make you feel unworthy.

In my opinion, the hardest thing about being bullied is after it’s over and you realize that you were helpless. You play it over in your head and ask yourself if there was something you could have done. Sometimes you beat yourself up because you think you should have been strong enough to avoid the paralysis you felt at the time and defended your own honor. THAT is where the bully wins.

Don’t join your bully. You have reasons for the way you react to threat. Sort out those reasons and work on a solution. Enlist trusted friends and find a way to Respond instead of React.

I would love to hear your thoughts. Also, maybe take a minute to read my blog, “Humble your power,” as it speaks to those in leadership that may not fully understand how they affect others.